What I Needed.

Last night, I finally just got "to be." I got to enjoy myself. And really have a good time. It was the first time, in a very long time, that I really got to enjoy myself.

To begin with, our show was a lot of fun last night. Plenty of time to have fun. We saved all our really good stuff, for last night. When we played a HUGE show for a Charity event. We wanted to make sure, that everyone was enjoying themselves. And we weren't going to be happy, until we saw smiles on faces, and people dancing. Simple as that.

But afterward, we, the band, got to enjoy ourselves too. It was time to dance the night away! Yes, we get paid to mingle with the guests. But since the event was by invitation only, it meant, we got to let our hair down, when we were done performing. Something I needed to do.

I don't drink. But honestly, I didn't need to. Not this time around. I just had fun. I had a permanent dance partner in my friend/boss. And he was all for having a great time too! Why? Because he has been working just as hard as we have. The last 10 days, well we've all been going nonstop! So don't judge us for never leaving the dance floor. We were both up to having a good time, and forgetting all of our troubles. :)

Beyond the fact that we helped our friend/boss score an amazing DJ. Well, he knew the guy, but the band was the one that suggested him. We had some amazing music. I swear, you could feel the beat of the music, long after you had left. The dance floor was completely packed! And everyone enjoyed it. Until the sun rose, early this morning. Yes, folks, we enjoyed life a little. Then, we got to watch the sunrise, on the roof of the club we played at. :) Along with a very yummy breakfast!

At the end of the night, it was nice to know that we helped score this Charity, a 9 figure donation. Yes, 9 figures!!! All by playing some music, dancing, and thoroughly enjoying ourselves. It was an incredible feeling. Just to know how many kids this is going to help. That right there, makes it all worth it. Every single time!

But the best part for me, was just living in the moment. Having some fun. Dancing the night away. And forgetting my worries. The last few months have been beyond stressful! And I'm so glad that I got the chance to just be me. To live a little. And to enjoy a little bit of life. ♫

Playful

Ol' Mr. Blue Eyes, he is in an awfully good mood today! Smitten really. And it's nice to be around him. In general, our boss/friend is this amazing man. He has a heart bigger than Texas! And this great personality. It's honestly, such fun to be around him.



But today, he happens to be in such an amazing mood. Not sure why. OK, I know. His career is definitely on an upswing. Even with what unfolded yesterday. But I can tell you this much, I'm not asking al the details. I'm just glad that he is happy. And at peace with himself. I can't imagine living the life that he lives. Being under a microscope like he is. It has to be difficult. Having the world judge all of your failures and successes.

But for now, he gets to be a normal, thirty something year old man. Just hanging out with his friends. It's crazy to think, how we've become such great friends. How this entire band, went from just meeting him, to him hiring us, to all of us being such great friends. Crazy! But I'm glad that he seen our show in Vegas, all those years ago! ♫

Sugar and Spice #22

Sugar

♥Living out my dreams.
♥Having a boss that is this much fun. Honestly, he just makes life a lot more fun. And interesting.
♥Feeling the cars go 190MPH. :)
♥Being with my friends/band for 10 days!!!
♥Having my 'Lil Cowgirl here. And getting to spend so much time with her. So much fun!
♥When my Cari Bear came. It's nice to see life through her eyes.
♥Talking to my sister again. Even if it was brief. And only by text message.
♥The way these people really take us in. Like we are part of their family. And make us feel so welcomed, loved, and appreciated.
♥All the yummy Southern food that we've had!
♥The amazing house and room I've had the honor to stay in.
♥Going to work in a helicopter. Yes, you read right! It has been so much fun!
♥All the yummy clothes, shoes, and jewelry I get to wear. That is definitely a plus to our gigs. A girl could get used to it. :)
♥Antique shopping. In small, sleepy towns. With your very best friends!
♥Having M here to hangout with. It's also a plus that she does my hair and makeup. ♥And that we're Commadres! :)
♥Having a best friend. Who you can completely share you heart with. Without feeling like they are judging you. They allow you to be vulnerable. And give the best hugs imaginable!
♥Watermelon. Lots of it. Iced cold on a hot day.
♥Country music. Saves the soul. And makes me so happy!
♥Long and lazy naps. In the middle of hot days. In paradise.
♥Lake Norman. If you haven't been, you need to. Enough said.
♥Nature. The trees. And peace and quiet.
♥Dancing my heart out. Feels so good! It's something I need to do more often.
♥Having all these dogs sleep with me. Makes me think, I really want a dog. They're the best snugglers around!
♥Polka dot bikinis.
♥Playful and loving friends.

Spice

★Tatie being in the hospital.
★Family drama. I'm so sick of it. And people wonder...
★Blogger. When is my blog going to return to normal? Where are all my posts???
★Money issues. Why does higher education have to cost so much? I feel like it takes every cent I have...
★The last 1000 feet of the Coca Cola 600. Heartbreaking. Enough said.
★Last lap of the Indy 500. What the heck? It was crazy!
★Having only 2 days left here. I seriously want to move out here. Who knows, I might actually marry a Southern man one day...
★Not getting to see my bestie. Sad. Enough said.
★Missing all of my favorite TV shows.
★Not seeing my favorite little girls, for what seems like a lifetime. It's only been 2 weeks. But still.

Right at this moment, that's all I can think of. I'm sure there are more. But you know what, that sounds pretty good to me. And I have to get ready for work now. So Happy Sunday! ♫

Something From Years Gone By

Are you anything like me? You hunt out the local Antique Shops. No matter where you are. Especially in small towns. Especially in the South?

Earlier this week, M and I got to do a little bit of exploring. B took care of the kids. And we brought C along with us. These are the women that I spend most of my time with. You know, when we're traveling. M is not only my MUA, but one of my best friends. And C, she has become another of my best friends! By the way, she's expecting her first baby this fall!

So we decided to do a little bit of exploring. Our boss' Mom suggested a certain area. And that's exactly where we were headed! Why? Because we wanted a little bit of fun, to take back home! We spent hours and hours in these little towns. And we had a blast!

I don't think there was one shop that we drove by, and didn't go into. They sold everything! It was pure bliss. We tried on vintage clothes, looked through old books, and eyed some gorgeous furniture. I'd definitely get into some trouble, if I lived around here!

In the end, I bought a few cookbooks. I still haven't had much luck with a set of mixing bowls, a vintage suitcase, or a vintage doctor's bag. But they're on my list. And I'll continue to search for them. Oh, and I picked up an incredible dress. That was very exciting. Especially at $2! You have to love vintage shopping! ♫

Polka Dot Fun!

How fun is this bathing suit? I don't know what is more fun. The polka dots. The style and cut. Or the vibrant red. If you know anything about me, know this, I don't swim. Because I don't know how. I don't wear bathing suits. Or shorts for that matter. But this suit, I would wear it! Happy Saturday! ♫

Family

I'm extremely disappointed in my family. What the heck is going through their heads? My Tatie is sick. This is no time for a full out war!

I'm not claiming to be a saint. But let's be honest here. When someone is sick, and in the hospital, the family should pull together. Not pull apart. And attack each other.

I've been quietly sitting on my hands. I've texted my sister. And talked to my parents. I've asked questions about Tatie's care. Because I'm generally concerned. Being that I work in the field of medicine, have experience in nutrition, and a care about my Tatie...I ask questions.

Yes, I know about nutrients, diets, and the such. Hello! My degree, and field of primary study for my BS, is human nutrition. I'm not trying to be the doctor here. But there are some questions that you could ask. So don't bite my head off, I'm just trying to make sure my grandpa is getting the best possible care.

Another thing that has completely annoyed me this week, is how people seem to be screening who sees Tatie. Let's get real. He's got kids from 2 marriages. They're all his kids. Whether you like them or not. They have a right to see their father.

When my Dad was in the hospital, I never said anything. I welcomed my siblings. Because that is what my Dad needed. I may not like them. Or even respect them. But it's what made my Dad feel better. Happier. So why can't my aunts do the same thing?

Are you seriously not going to allow people to see Tatie, based on who has visited him. And how often? Are you serious? I for one, well, I have a Dad that has needed all the time and care I could give him. It's been just over 5 months since he almost died. Not to mention, I live 3 hours away. Work 100+ hours a week. And go to school. But I have managed to visit twice. But obviously, it's not enough for the "Guard Dogs."

So I leave it at that. You want to be that way, fine. My Tatie knows I love him. We've had some very interesting conversations. Like that day when Nanie wasn't home, and Tatie wanted to talk. He told me so much. Asked me so many questions. He knows what's going on. He's not dumb. And I know for a fact, that he knows that I love him, think about him, and pray for him every single day.

I've sent my grandparents countless packages. All to be returned. With the same handwriting. But I'm not letting it stop me. I know that I do it, out of the kindness of my heart. For my grandparents. For my Tatie. If this person doesn't like it, oh well. It's on your back, not mine. I know what I do for them. All the boxes and cards, I have them sitting in my closet. Let's not even talk about how many times I call. But you know, they screen the calls. And if they don't want to talk to you, well no one answers the phone. But at least I try.

For me, the straw that broke the camels back, was Thursday evening. Already, these people were rude to my Mom Wednesday. She went to visit her Dad. No one would let her see him. He was resting. But there were 3 visitors. Someone could have stepped out for a minute. Just so she could have seen her Dad. She didn't want to wake him. But no. That's how much care, love, and concern they have for my Mom.

Thursday evening. That was low. For everyone that was involved. Everyone that knew what was going on. After certain people went to my parents' house earlier. And then, to pull what they did. Are you serious? Are you that scared of the things you do, that you must attack someone else? Act like a damn fool?

Already, I had no respect for this particular woman. I haven't spoken to her in about 10 years. I will not let her touch me. I don't care if she wants to hug me, I want nothing to do with her. She knows why. I shouldn't have to respect someone who has no respect for me or my parents. Enough said. But to act the way she did. And get others involved. It's ridiculous!

So not only have you taken money from my parents, you harass them. That's ridiculous! Especially after everything that my parents have done for my grandparents. But how easily people forget. All those cigarettes, beer, food, time, energy, little trips, and such...and they forget. They forget the time spent.

Then to accuse my Mom of this nonsense. She hasn't spoken to her brother since October. At a family party. And those sisters...it's been years. Since they tried to "take down the family." Yes, years! As in at least 4...if not longer.

But when you are a "scaredy cat" and are trying to hide, I guess you just lash out. Blame anyone that is around you. There's not enough sense, to realize the harm you are doing. You are tearing apart this family. As far as I'm concerned, I have Tatie, Uncle John, Auntie Ronnie, and a bunch of cousins. The rest, well, if I never see them again, it wouldn't bother me.

To have someone waiting for you, to attack you, and yell at you like a wild animal, that is crazy. For people to be throwing things at you, and waving around canes like that...that's nonsense! Why? Because someone else is after you? Maybe you should research this a little better. Really look at who is attacking you. And going after you. It's not the sister that you are blaming.

It's not the first time that people have hurt my Mom. People in her family. That are supposed to love her. There was that time, when my Uncle was dying. And everyone got together to celebrate his birthday. The purposefully left my Mom out. And all those holiday celebrations. But the crazy thing is, the people in this family that matter, they know that she loves them. They know that I love them. That's all that matters. Not these crazy women.

The sad part is, they are tearing apart this family. Do you know something? I have a cousin, that I heard was looking for a better job. I made some calls, talk to a bunch of people. And I got her an interview for this amazing job. I literally got the call this morning. But now...do I dare call her? Because if I do, will I be the next one they attack? So I decided, I'm just going to let it go. Because there's too much, for me, to lose in the end. And it's not worth it.

That hurts. That's the sad part. Because it's hurting people that aren't even involved in the main family problems. Why can't my cousins go see our grandpa? A cousin that helped build their home. Why can't my Mom see my grandpa? Her Dad. Or my Uncle. This is what is ridiculous.

But we are not the ones to decide what is right or wrong. There is a judgement day for that. A day when you have to face the Lord, and explain the things you've done. There is no hiding from him. He knows what you've done. No matter how well you think you've hidden it. He knows.

For these people, that feel superior to the rest of us, it's not worth it. You're hurting the family more, than you are helping it. Does it make you feel so good, because you attack someone? I'm not like my Mom. I wouldn't have taken that. Maybe you will call my a B, but I don't care. People need to respect people, in order to receive respect back.

For my family that is innocent in these matters, I love you. We may not see each other often. May only speak a few words, but I love you. You are in my heart. And will always be there. There is no changing that. I love you.

And all that is left to do, is pray for Tatie. Pray that he recovers. And that he is allowed to live, his last few years in peace, surrounded by love, and in a way that makes him happy. That's all that matters. No matter how much people don't want to see it, his health and happiness is all that matters. And every single day, that is what I pray for. ♫

Friday Fill In #21

This week's Friday Fill-Ins are just perfect! Like someone was reading my heart. Or maybe took a look at my soul.

1. This week I prayed a lot.

2. The heat returns.

3. It's all about music, fun and laughter around here.

4. I wish I could go out in the sun.

5. I demand respect.

6. A good path, it's filled with love, honor, and respect.

7. And as for the weekend, tonight I'm looking forward to our show, tomorrow my plans include a little fun with some fast cars and Sunday, I want to have fun and enjoy the day! ♫

A Plate of Yummy!

I'm not feeling so hot today. I'm thinking, it's allergies. The wind out here, well it's ridiculous! And it doesn't appear to be getting any better. :( But you know what, life has to go on. And I'm going to make the best of it.

Our boss is working right now. And we worked last night. We have another gig tonight. And I'm just tired! Ya, we earn some good paychecks for these gigs. But we work HARD! So I decided to indulge a little this afternoon...



I found this picture doing a google search. I can't even remember what I was searching for. But doesn't this look yummy! Well, I took over the kitchen, and I made a big 'ol bowl of this yummy goodness! My 'Lil Cowgirl and I, well we had 2 bowls each! Yes, it was that good. Now, I think we both have an afternoon nap on our minds. :) ♫

Watermelon and the Band

We had a few hours off today. You know, to do a little bit of nothing. Which lead to some hilarious conversation. But that's what you get with these guys. This band is hilarious! And there may have been 8 watermelons involved too!

At one point, one of the guys asked, if seeds really do fall from the watermelon slices. You know, like on the skits from Sesame Street. Well, that raised all kinds of stories. And before long, we had a seed spitting contest going. There were many different techniques used. And in the end, I was the "Watermelon Champ!"

We should probably check back with our boss, in a couple of months, and see how many watermelon vines he has growing. Yes, 8 watermelons, 1 band, and a hilarious seed spitting contest. That's a lot of seeds, even in that large field.

What else do you do on 200 acres of land? On your day off. With one of the most famous athletes? Ya, I know. But we had a blast! The South, well they grew 'em better! Everything! And everyone. :)

Now, I'm off to do some cooking. I promised the guys a yummy dinner, before our gig. See, I cook. And I'm not entirely sure who cleans up. But I know it's not me! :) I'll be in hair and makeup. Happy Wednesday! ♫

Letting Love In

The thing about life is, it's always changing. It never stays the same. Therefore, we must change with it.

Almost a year ago, my youngest sister wanted to meet for lunch. Or something like that. But I wasn't feeling it. At that point, it had been almost 9 years since I had last seen her. And honestly, my heart was not in the right place for reconnecting.

I've struggled a lot with siblings in the past. The last 2 years, they've tested me more times than I'd like to admit. Generally, they've just hurt me. And I just wasn't in the place to deal with another round of hurt. Not from a sibling at least.

But yesterday, my heart melted a little. Maybe it was the news about Tatie. Or the fact that I've been surrounded by this amazing family. My boss' family. And you feel all the love. And I said to myself, "I want that relationship. I want to be close to at least one of my siblings. I want to trust them."

So I extended the invitation. At least the thought of it. Plans are not finalized. But the wheels are in motion. And I have a little secret to tell you. I'm super excited about it! I really want to see my big sister. I want to reconnect. I want to have a relationship with her.

It may sound crazy. Or like I'm nuts. But I do want these relationships. I was raised as an only child. And honestly, most of my siblings would rather I die right here, right now, than to even talk to me. But I've learned. In 28 years, that it's not about me. It's about family situations.

So if there is a way, to just build one healthy relationship, I'm going to try. I want that. I want to have someone to share life with. To include in my family. I want a sibling to share with. Most of all, I just want a chance with my big sister. ♫