When Goodbyes Are Too Tough

My heart is completely broken. Shattered to be exact. My "Superman" has lost his cape. 3 days after finding out, I think I'm finally processing everything. Patrick is no longer with us...

My friend, he was so much more than a friend. He started out as my parents' boss. Then became their friend. He was my mentor and role model growing up. And I can proudly say, as an adult he was my friend. And my second Dad. I say Dad instead of Father, because he was that close to me. That special and important to my heart and soul.

There are more times than I can remember, when I would call him to just talk. Talk about school, life, whatever was on my mind. And he was always there for me. With the best advice. Telling me how important all these things in life were. Like a college education, a good home, responsible finances, a good man to love, and even some time for my hobbies.

I knew Patrick for over 20 years. In those 20 years, he became one of the most important people in my life. I can say that full heartedly. Patrick was there when my family was not. For all the big steps and moments in my life. He was there. I could always count on him.

Even in my darkest days. The days when I wasn't so sure about my next step. He was there for me. Guiding me, and cheering me on. Without ever asking him, Patrick was just there. No matter if it was for a funeral for someone in my family, or just to listen to me talk. He was there for me.

I knew he had health problems. He was battling some of the most critical illnesses that I've ever heard about. But he never complained. Never showed signs of weakness. He was always so strong. So optimistic. Even knowing, that one day he would pass away from these very illnesses.

That's tough. But Patrick taught me so much. Especially in his last few months. He taught me about grace, love, and perseverance. Mostly, he taught me about faith. I always thought I was a religious person. But Patrick is someone who sincerely lived by the ways of God. I will always remember that.

In these tough times, I try to remember the things about Patrick that made me smile and laugh. His love of eating. I don't think there was a single thing the man didn't like. But his favorites included carne adovada and pineapple upside down cake. I would bake him cakes, just to see his eyes light up. Oh and his love for Sabor a Mi. :)

There were also the years and years, of him trying to set me up with his son. It really made me laugh. Nothing could stop him. Not the fact that I went to one high school, and his son to another. Our schools were rivals. He thought we'd be a perfect pair. Because I was a cheerleader and his son was a basketball player. Nevermind years later, when he tried to set us up again. His son had a girlfriend. But Patrick was trying. He never could accept that I'd never be his daughter in law. He even joked that he should have had another son.

I'm going to miss Patrick so very much. He was definitely one of my "7 Pivotal People." I owe so much to Patrick. I'm going to miss those hugs. And our long chats. I'm going to miss the silly e-mails. And the fact that I never got my #2, 3, or 4 pictures. Or that he broke his promise to be at my wedding. But I'm always going to carry Patrick in my heart.

Today was a very fitting day for his burial. Today is Fall Equinox. If you knew anything about Patrick, you'd understand the importance. The big rain storm that we had today, happened just as Patrick was being laid to rest. It felt like the world was weeping for this great man, just like we were. And as I sit here typing, and smelling the fresh crisp air, I can't help but to play back so many great memories of my dear friend, Patrick. Rest in Peace with the Angels in Heaven. One day, we shall meet again. ♫