Saving for a Rainy Day

The one thing, that my Dad instilled in me, was to save money. ALWAYS! Pay yourself. Right after you pay the bills. Make sure, there is something in the bank. Yes folks, it's what he taught. It's what I learned. It's who I am.

So the last few years, have killed my savings. You know, lots of medical expenses, business expenses, and then funeral expenses. Dying, is costly. The aftermath, is crazy! And more expensive. And when you think you are done paying for things, you get some more bills in the mail.

A year and a half later, things are starting to settle. Into a new "new." My big girl panties are on. And I've pulled my boots up. In other words, life is moving forward. And it's time to start planning for the future.

Growing up, my Dad didn't just let me have money. Everything, went to savings. Do you remember my big birthday parties? People may have thought there was a wedding going on. But oh no, there was some little girl turning 3. All my Birthday money, Christmas money, First Communion money, because Tatie felt like giving me money, etc. went to the bank. All of it. Except maybe $20. That my Dad would let me buy a Barbie with.

Growing up, I went with my Dad almost everywhere he went. And while he was talking shop with mechanics, or buying parts, it was my job to walk the parking lot. And pick up cans to sell. Any change I found, went into the drink holder in the truck. And when we got home, my cans went into the driveway to smash. Eventually, we'd go and sell them. My change went into these HUGE glass jugs. One for quarters, one for dimes, one for nickels, and one for pennies.

Every few months, we'd head to the bank. My Dad ALWAYS made sure, I was with him. And we put the money, in my savings account. Later, we'd buy CDs. And my money would be there, for college. At least, that is what my Dad told me. When I went to college it stayed in the bank. Just waiting. And I worked my way, through the expense of medical school.

I don't think my Dad ever anticipated that I'd save money for nearly 32 years. And then use it to have his funeral. But that's how life works. And you just move forward. Because what else can you do?

Around November, I started to think, I need to grow my savings account. It's pretty devastating, to see the balance shrink. And shrink quickly. Sure, it's not going to be, what it once was. Not overnight. But I could get started. So I started the 52 Week Savings Challenge.

This was not my first rodeo, with the 52 Week Savings Challenge. I've done it in the past. But it's a nice way, to get into the habit of saving money. Every Friday, I pay myself. This past Friday, was week 32. Yes, $528 saved! But let me tell you, I didn't just start here. It would be a good place. But I'm kind of anxious, to see the numbers grow. So what did I do?

Well, January 1, 2016...I got 3 jars. I printed 3 of these papers. And glued them to my jars. Every week, I've doubled the amount of money that is on the paper. Week 1, every jar got $2. By week 32, every jar was getting $64.

Why? I want to save quicker. If you had been going by the printout, I'd have $528. Which is really good. A nice way to put away money. But I'm proud to say, I've got $1056. In each jar! Wow! And it really hasn't been that difficult.

I don't have 3 jars of money in our house. No way! I'm not that crazy. I kept the jars, until about week 10. When I had over $100 in each. Then I went to the bank, and set up 3 savings accounts. Every Friday, I go make a deposit. This way, the money is safe. And bank is paying me, to have it there.

So why 3 separate jars? Well, first is just to save. My first savings, is solely for saving money. At the end of the year, I'll go purchase a CD with the money I've saved. The goal is $3000. If I keep going with this plan, I'll have $2756. And will just have to make a $244 dollar investment. Good stuff!

Jar #2 is for a trip. I hope to take my Mom on some sort of vacation. Next summer. So I've also thrown in some extra money. Like for my birthday, my friends sent me a bunch of giftcards. So money I would have spent on a dinner out, a movie, a shopping trip, a haircut, whatever the giftcard is for...I've put in the jar. Every single time I use one of the giftcards, I put that money value into this account. Let's see how much I can save by next summer.

Jar #3, is a little something for me. And a plan that I have. It will take about 10-15 times as much money. But y'all have to start somewhere! This is just the beginning. And I know, this project is going to make my life better.

Is it easy to do something like this? Yes. And no! I'm not going to lie to you. The first few weeks, and months actually, are pretty easy. I mean, who doesn't have $1 a week...to put into savings? Even $20. I know by October it will start to get more difficult. And those last few weeks...that's a lot of money. But it's worth it.

I'd suggest, trying this out. You don't have to wait until January to start. You can start today. Next week. Next month. Is there something you are planning for? A trip. A new car. A big party. A house. A renovation. Maybe a new baby. Perhaps your little one is growing, and heading to college.

The 52 Week Savings Challenge, is an easy way...to slowly ease into saving money. In fact, my friends and I started doing this, when I was about 20 years old. We'd challenge each other. Sometimes it wasn't a specific dollar amount, that we'd put away each week. But say, every single time we had a $5 bill, it went into savings. Or when we were all pretty poor, it was every single time we had a quarter. But you get the picture.

So what do you say? Would you give it a try? Would you start saving? If you started this week. By next year, at this time, you could have an "extra" $1378 waiting for you. To do something with. It's the little steps people. And when all those little steps are added up, big things can happen. ♫

Whoa!!!

This is the post, were I get all crazy, and heavy on emotion. If you're not prepared for that, you might not want to read this.

I don't know what it is. I'm not a person that lives life, by the numbers. You know, I didn't care when I turned 21. Yes, my friends and I were in Las Vegas. But we were there to work. I was just happy to get my favorite mini wedding cake. :) So when I turned 30, just a few weeks ago...it literally came and went. No "BIG" excitement.

I got phone calls from family and friends. A ton of messages on FB, and Twitter. It was nice. But it was just another day for me. Maybe because my parents, never really made a big deal about birthdays, when I was growing up. Maybe because my Dad never remembered, it was my birthday. Or that there has been so many family issues going on, that I just didn't care.

But something has been missing. And I wasn't quick, to figure it out. Until yesterday. It got me thinking. 12 years ago, I thought I'd be married by 20. Done with school by 22. And would have a couple of kiddos running around my home, by 25. Yes, I've accomplished a lot. Received more than 1 degree. Debt free, I might add. I've paid off my home. And my car. But something has been missing...

Yesterday, it hit me like a ton of bricks. Maybe because I got to spend a few hours, with these cute twins. And honestly, all  my friends...and their kiddos. Maybe it's because, I'll be in a friend's wedding this weekend. As the "Maid of Honor." For the umpteenth time. Maybe it was my sweet Goddaughter's meltdown on Monday night.

I don't know. I can't pinpoint the exact reason. Just that something has been feeling "wrong" for a while. I mean, even 6 months ago, I wasn't this miserable. But now, I run from one crazy place to another. I'm taking care of a sick parent. Trying to juggle 100+ hours of work. School stuff. Writing for a magazine. And a newspaper. Endless paperwork for my parents. Running errands. Crazy traveling schedules. Really, I don't have much "down time." And I'm starting to get resentful, because of it.

Remember how I told you, that by 25 I thought I'd be married, a mommy, and well the "Keeper of the Home." But it hasn't happened. Honestly, I thought I'd be that mujer. That would get up early. Make her hubby breakfast, see him off to work. Spend my days breastfeeding, changing cloth diapers, doing said hubby's laundry, cooking meals, and digging in our garden.

I never thought it would be easy. Do you know my family? Nothing has ever been easy. I expected that there would be days, that I'd want to pull my hair out. That my beloved husband, would drive me nuts! And those babes that I'd birthed...I just knew, they'd test me in ways, that I'd never dreamt of.

But somewhere along the lines, I've sacrificed my life...for other people. I've put my dreams, on the back burner. I've buried myself in work. Because in those walls of the hospital, little can bother me. Little can hurt me. And I can control, most of what's going on.

You see, I can go to work, and forget about family crap. The siblings that make life...well a living hell. Not all of them are like that. But there are some, that just don't let me live. And in the hospital, I don't have to worry about them. I also don't have to worry about people, who try to keep me from my grandparents. Or aging parents, who I'm deathly afraid of losing.

Hurt and pain, can be minimized at work. You can hold yourself at arms length. You can get lost in hours of surgery. In complicated cases. In sick kiddos, who just want your help. You can quickly forget, that you are alone in this world. Maybe that's why so many of the doctors, don't mind these crazy schedules. Or the fact that we go to work at 5PM. And rarely leave before 5AM. That most days, we spend more time, in the hospital...then out of it. That we make more trips to work, in one day, than most people make in a week.

But then, in the quiet moments, you start to remember life. When you're holding an innocent and sick baby...you realize that's all you want. Is a baby. Even a sick baby, is better than no baby. A little person, that is part of you. When you see married couples, you realize, you want that. Even the ones who continuously argue. And might I add, about stupid things. Like the flavor of gum, the husband has just bought. You want, and crave, that company. That person to lean on, when times are tough.

I had this raw conversation with my good friend J, last night. We were making final travel plans for this weekend. When I'm the "Maid of Honor," and he's the "Best Man." Making sure I knew when and where to be. So I didn't miss the flight. We were finalizing the Bride and Groom's Honeymoon plans. Because this man is so incredibly sweet! He's paying for their Honeymoon!!!

It just got me thinking. And emotional. Having read this, just hours before...didn't help matters. Because it was everything, that I was feeling. And I caught myself, silently praying that same prayer. That J stays single for another 10 years...

You see, years and years ago, we agreed on something. Something silly. But something the two of us, have hung onto. Silently. Never talking to each other about it. Just hoping. That by the time I'm 40, if neither of us are married, or have kids...we'd have some babies together. Possibly get married.

I read this on Monday. When we were flying back from Dallas. And I kept asking myself, "What are you waiting for? He's the one! You've always known it!" The reality is, I think I've always known it. From that first instant, when we locked eyes. Those green eyes, they had me. That sweet smile, made me melt. Even in a crowd of people, as I performed, he grabbed my attention. But I've always been scared. Because what if it doesn't work? I'd be losing my best friend. What if he doesn't love me, as much as I love him? What if I got hurt?

All of those things, have allowed me, to stay at arms length. To keep J, just far enough away. But close enough, to lean on. Because let's be real, when times are tough, he's the one I run to. My friend is the should I cry on. All 6'4" of strong, muscular cowboy. With that crook'd smile. Sweet green eyes. Sandy colored hair. He's the man, that makes me feel safe. Like really safe.

He doesn't judge. Knows every stinking thing, about me. And loves me, for me. You know, he laughs at the silly stories. The stupid things I get myself into. He's proud of my accomplishments. And is ALWAYS there, when I need help.

No matter what it is. A shoulder to cry on. He's there. I swear to you, that little "nook," was made just for me. I don't know how many shirts of his, that I've ruined. Because the tears came way too fast. Or how many times I've called J, because I need some help with my tuition payments, buying a book for school, or heck...food. I'm not ashamed to admit it. He's been there. He's come with boxes of food, when he's noticed I'm without. Not judging. Just brought it through my front door, loaded up my fridge, and gave me a hug. J even created a position in his company, so I'd have a job.

I often panic, to think he might realize how handsome he is. Or what a good catch he is. How all those women, are really looking at him. And what a catch, all of those women really are. You know, size 0, smokin' hot, great personality types. They practically scare Jesus out of me. But J, he's usually concerned with bulls, oil, chili, pecans, or something else like that.

Seriously, how many men do you know...that are happy to play princess with their Goddaughters? Or go out and buy every pink food and drink, so those same Goddaughters, can have a tea party. Or like Monday evening, run around town, looking for that doll...that was ruined. Not many. And let me tell you, nothing melts my heart more, than watching J with kids. When I walk into his home, and he and one of our Goddaughters are fast asleep. On the sofa. Big, muscular Cowboy J. Covered with a princess blanket, and a small girl nestled on his chest.

He's the same man I call, when that one light bulb burns out. Because I can never reach it. The one I call, to tell all about that tough surgery that I had. The one that last 2 hours longer, than I expected. And challenged me, in every possible way. I call him, when I'm especially worried about my Dad. And he always makes me feel better.

J is the man, that I can spot across a room. Or a field of chili. And immediately lock eyes with. Somehow, that connection, makes my heart sing. He's the man, that makes me feel safe. And happy. That in every sense of a man, is a gentleman. He makes you feel, like a woman. Treats me with respect. Is more in love with God, than even I am.

He listens to me. Gives me the best advise. Helps me. Encourages me. Challenges me. Makes me laugh, until I swear I can't breathe. He distracts me, from my troubles. But helps me work through them. J is that one person in my life, that knows what I'm thinking, before I think it.

10 years ago, I dreamt of being married. Barefoot and pregnant. I had big dreams. Dreams that meant a lot to me. I was ready for all of that. The good, the bad, and the ugly. Who would have thought, during those first few weeks of college, that I'd meet this man. The one, that continues to make me dream. And hope.

When I think I can't dream any bigger, he challenges me. Because J, he dreams HUGE!!! He works hard. And plays HARDER. He loves with every being of his body. And expects, the best out of everyone around him.

It's been a tough year. We're only 3 1/2 months in. And I'm spent. I'm worried. In some areas, I've given up. Like Valli, I don't NEED a man. Or babies. But I WANT them. I've sacrificed so much, to get to this point. I've taken care of everyone around me. Maybe I'm just ready, to let someone take care of me. Remind me, that life is going to be OK. That not every single day, needs to be on the "edge of disaster."

I sometimes think, that God is screaming at me. Telling me to stop being so stupid. To let love in. And learn to let go, of certain situations. To make people, more accountable for themselves. To quit caring so much.

It's crazy when you get to this point. I even without realizing it, told J something, that even shocked me. "I'd get married. Tomorrow. If I could go on that trip, have a pair of CL stilettos, and just be happy for a second. Really happy. You know what I mean?" I hope he didn't get the wrong idea.

Lastly, I'm pretty sure Dr. S' wife, "The Bride," was equally shocked. Yesterday morning. When in passing I told her, "I'd walk away from it all. This career. My home. My hometown. All of this. If I could find real love. Could make a real family, for myself. And can be happy. Even if, for just a second. I NEED that. I don't need all of this. I just want to be happy." ♫

He Still Has My Heart

No matter how much I try, he has my heart. My whole heart. Yes, he does. No matter the distance, the time that passes, or the things that happen in our lives. He has my heart in his hands. And honestly, I wouldn't have it any other way. Who knows...one day...he might just be the one. :)

Maybe it's my humbug attitude as of late. Or my unwillingness to go home. The fact that I just don't want to be around other people. Whatever it is, he understands. Even from 1000s of miles away, he gets that. Has just the perfect things to say. Those things that make me feel better about myself.

And it's when I see him, and my heart does that silly little thing, that's when I know. When he tells me I'm beautiful. You know, when I have the flu, a fever, no makeup, my hair is a hot mess, and I've been wearing the same pjs for 2 days. Yes, that's when it counts the most. That and the chicken noodle soup that he's brought over. Because he is convinced that it will make me feel better.

But it goes deeper than that. He's the man I turn to when my world falls apart. The one person who just lets me cry, when I need it. Who comforts me, as I lose yet another important person in my life. My biggest cheerleader, when all I want to do is give up. He is all those things. And so much more.

It's funny how much we've been through. Sharing a stage. Learning from our mistakes. Challenging each other. Celebrating each other's victories. And helping each other to reach our goals. Money, popularity, and all that crap, it's never mattered. What's mattered, is each other.

Sometimes we falter. Sometimes we fall. We've gone months without talking. At some point, I'll admit it, I hated him. But that's in the past. All in the past. Because every time I've needed him, he's been here for me. Whether I've asked him to, or not.

It's nice to know. Especially when I had a crazy person hunting me down. And no one to depend on. I had him. Who else takes off 2 months of work to just make sure I'm OK? Not many people. But that's the difference. This man has respect, love, and knowledge to share. That's what I need. Along with a sense of security. He provides all of that.

Is it funny that we still argue about cakes? Yes. But eventually, I'll bake him a cake. Maybe even for his birthday. Is it strange that I pick up his mail when he's gone...and on tour? Maybe. But I think it's funny, that his neighbors think I live there. That I'm their neighbor too.

Our relationship is complicated. Strange. And, well not common place. But it works for us. The 2 musicians that grew up, more alike than not. The 2 people that probably should just give in to this thing. But you know, we're both pretty hard headed. For now, this works. In a year...maybe it won't.

You just never know where life will take you. Will he be living in FL again? Will I move to NC? Or we just might be a little nuts and say, both careers aren't the right thing for us. I guess only time will tell.

But today, I'm just happy to know he's on my side. He's still the man that calls to chat at 2AM, because he knows I can't sleep. Or the man who shows up at my house, to help out in my latest round of painting. Ya, it's that time of year. My house needs a new coat of paint.

That's the 2 of us. Singing those ubber romantic duets one minute, the next laughing at some ridiculous thing we seen. What really happens under the sombrero? Nothing. The 2 of us trying not to laugh. Ask anyone in the band. The audience can't see. But we all know. It's part of the act. At least 50% of it.

Chemistry? Well you can't deny that. But it's not the beginning and end of us. We're both more complicated. And a whole heck of a lot funnier. What can I say. And to think, after all this time, I've had this hombre right under my nose. And no matter what we try to do, we keep finding our way back to one another... ♫