I Need Lucy

It's been a ridiculously tough week. And it's only Tuesday. If we're Facebook friends, you seen my post. About marriage. Yes, I contemplated marriage. So I could run away, from all of this. But we all know, that won't solve anything. Let's just say, it's a good thing, this man, is in Espana right now. :)

So to cheer myself up, I decided to watch a few YouTube videos tonight. More specifically, I Love Lucy. She's my favorite! This is one of my favorite episodes. And it makes me laugh every single time. I hope you enjoy it too!



So what do you do when you're having a bad week. Or when you are just feeling "down in the dumps." I watch YouTube videos, bake yummy cupcakes, and paint my nails. Anything to feel good again. Hopefully, it works tonight. ♫

Oh Mr.

I've been lucky the last few days. My Music Man has been in town, and we've spent some time just hanging out. Catching up, before he leaves, for 6 weeks in Europe!

My Music Man has been working hard. In my hometown. And I got the opportunity to "steal" him away on Friday. His parents and I showed up, and we took him out to dinner. Yum! Was the food delish! And the company was so good. We laughed the entire time. And honestly, I don't think anyone missed him at "work." There was just so much going on. But we did manage to get him back, before the entire event was over.

But it was nice to enjoy time with him and his parents. It doesn't happen much. Actually, it's rare. But definitely a fun time to be had. That is definitely one family I'd love to be a part of. You know what I mean?

On Saturday, Mr. Wonderful there, got me some tickets. I ended up going to the concert by myself. I knew my parents wouldn't be up to it. But I was set to have some fun! Meeting the Mr. and his parents for dinner, just before the show. :) We had a yummy dinner. And prepared for a fun show. Full of beautiful music. And a little singing from My Music Man. It was wonderful! I don't know who the bigger fan was...me, his sister, or his mom. But this guy, had an entire section of fans. And I'm not just saying the 3 of us!

After the concert, my "Wanna-Be-In-Laws" went to gamble in the Casino. We headed to one of the Ballrooms. Which was set up for some "jamming." One thing you should know about our Music Conferences, is there is a ton of "jamming" that happens. Generally, there is a location, where everyone just shows up. Instruments in hand. And you just play. Everyone joins in. Teachers, students, anyone. And we sing. And dance. It really is a lot of fun. And that's what we thought we'd be doing.

Nope. The "Jam Session" turned into a night of dancing. One of the guys, that I worked with in my hometown, well his brother is a DJ. And came out for free. We had a great time. Lots of really good people. Having a lot of fun! And a lot of dancing happening!

Before I knew it, money was coming out of his wallet. Directed at the "Free DJ." To play this song...



A smile found it's way to his lips. My heart melted a bit. And we danced. No lie. I'm turning into one of those women.

Before long, the man with all the chivalry in the world, was punching out that musician. The one neither of us can stand. The one that prevented the Mr. from getting a job. In my hometown. And is now jealous of My Music Man's success. Did I mention? He can't stand me either. The feelings are mutual.

My Music Man has found himself on the other side of "that punch" before. During that time when we weren't talking. When I couldn't stand him. When he was mean as heck! And 'Ol Blue Eyes decked him. During our rehearsal. No lie...

But to see him punch someone else, well that just makes, well wonder. I'm grateful for My Music Man. And all of his good values. Before I knew it, that musician was being dragged out of there. My Music Man was checking to see if I was OK. And well, the rest of the musicians were on our side.

Yes, it's been a complicated and difficult road for My Music Man and I. We've had good times. Really good times. But we've also had really, really, really bad times. There was a two year span, when we didn't even talk. That's how much anger was there.

But whenever I've needed him the most, this man has been there. For whatever it was, that I needed. I'm so thankful. And grateful. That he is in my life. We encounter many people, like that rude musician. And never, not one single time, has he not defended me. My Music Man makes me feel so incredibly special. And worthwhile.

At the end of the night, we said our goodbyes. And got one of those truly amazing hugs of his. I went home with a knowledge, that someone out there, really does love me. Not out of obligation. But out of want. Beyond all the storybook lines, he really does love me. Maybe it's time, to start letting that love in. Into my heart. And really believing him. After 10 years, there's little, that we don't know, about one another. ♫

I Have a Secret...

I almost got married once. Only a handful of people know about this. Until now. But ya, little 'ol me, once almost got married. Here's the story...

When I was a freshman in college, I was juggling a lot. It was the first time I lived on my own, I was in college, had a new mortgage, worked a "real" job, had to figure out how to do laundry, I pumped my own gas for the very first time, and "really" cooked! I was just trying to survive. Oh, and then, 9/11 happened. That changed a lot. 9/11 would change a lot about my future education plans. Things that I never thought would change...they changed!

Some time between starting college, and 9/11, I met him. My Music Man. The one man, that would haunt my life...and at times, save me from myself. He was that man that every single female fell for. Every SINGLE one! Which isn't horrible when you work for tips...you know, as a Mariachi. But from the beginning, I never felt “worthy” of being around him. Like I wasn’t good enough. It wasn’t the way he acted, or treated me. But the way other people viewed him.

We became fast friends. Spent lots of time before and after rehearsals together, laughing and talking. Before long, we were in the same Mariachi, spent at least 40 hours a week together. And learned how to pack food in our luggage. Anything to save a few pennies, to pay for college. Yes, we took oranges, peanut butter, and crackers with us to Orlando. Because we were poor…

Ya, we figured out that I cheered at his old high school. At least 8 times a year. My Music Man is 3 years older than me. But he still went to his old high school’s games, after he graduated. During the time when I was on my high school's varsity cheer team. He went because his younger brother went to the games. His brother is younger than me.

Yes, we had met years before. When I cheered. And he was trying to figure out how we (the cheerleaders) could bend “like that.” And how in the heck, could we pull off those tricks. And why in the heck would we cheer, in the middle of a snowstorm, in tiny skirts. We were hardcore cheerleaders. The ones from his high school, they rarely went to the games. And our coach, well she thought that cheerleading was our life. We didn’t miss a thing. Including the Band Competing in the “Battle of the Bands.” Yes, we cheered for that! :P

So ya, we met. We actually shared a meal. Because 5 of us, and our coach got stuck, in his hometown. And we were stuck at Wendy's. Eating French fries and Frosties, at 2AM, during a snowstorm. We had met. He actually bought us real food. As in meals. I remember him telling us, “You ladies need a proper dinner. I saw how hard you worked. Very talented.” The only guy on our team was with us. And he was not impressed. I remember him calling him a Jack A#@. Under his breath of course. Did I mention? He was also my best friend. Somewhere between passing out the food, and going for ketchup, My Music Man asked me, for my phone number. And I gave him, a friend's phone number. Instead of mine. :)

But in college, it was different. He made my heart skip a beat. My tummy would get butterflies. And well, it just felt “right.” Hilariously, we were set up together. To sing. Lots and lots of duets. Which required a crap load of rehearsal time. And a bit of acting...

We started to realize things. Like he lived a few blocks down the road from me. Any given day, we were both happy to be eating Ramen noodles. Yes, we were those "Poor College Students." He walked to school, to save money on parking. I spent hours in the library, trying to save money on books. We both enjoyed old movies, and the craziest jokes. Running was our second favorite past time, to music of course! And hunting, fishing, and camping...well to both of us, it's just a part of life. :) Let’s not forget Salsa dancing. And the occasional midnight, ice cream run. :)

I also had a roommate that was making life horrible. So I needed someone to vent to. To tell how frustrated I was. Because I did everything in the house. All the cleaning. My food was frequently stolen. Things were being broken. No one cleaned but me. And well, my roomie wasn't doing anything. So I vented to My Music Man. Who listened. Really listened. And at the perfect moment, gave me one of those big bear hugs. Remedy to all!

Then, one day, we were talking to some friends. They had recently gotten married. And now, 90% of their tuition, books, and fees were paid for. Why? Because they were a married couple. HELLO!!! The bells were going off. We had this amazing idea...

It was the end of January. I was a freshman in college. I needed money. WE needed money! Ya, I had scholarships. But well, I needed help living. You know, once in a while, I wanted to eat a decent meal. So the idea was born.

We decided to get married. Nothing else would change. He'd stay in his $1000/month apartment. The entire place could fit into my living room. No lie! And I'd stay in my home. But school, it would be completely paid for. Completely! It sounded like heaven. :)

Being the chivalrous man that he is, My Music Man decided to take things into his hands. He paid for our blood tests. Yes, our state requires them. And he footed the bill for the license. He also went to an Antique Store, and bought us rings. They were the perfect fit. No sizing required! Quite beautiful, if I say so myself. :) We were all set. Our appointment with the Justice of the Peace was set. 4PM on a Friday afternoon. It gave us enough time to make it legal, and still make it to our Mariachi gig. How very romantic we are! :P

Well, our vocal lesson lasted longer than it should have. And we couldn't find a parking. Which made us late. And we missed our appointment! We couldn't wait another 30 minutes for the last appointment. We'd be late to work. So we figured we'd try again, the next week.

God had other plans. You see, My Music Man's Dad, is good friends with a certain Indian Chief. Who signed a certain paper, declaring that a certain man was at least 33% Native American. This allowed the government to pay for his entire tuition, fees, and books. And he got a monthly stipend. This happened on Monday. 3 days after our original wedding date.

So now, we didn't have to get married. His school was paid for. And with that extra money, well he paid for gas. To get us to work. You know, we had to travel, at least 50 miles one way, to gigs. And we did this 4-5 times a week. I also had a steady stream of food. We now lived off of PB&J sammies, or bean burritos. We were really living it up!

In the years that have followed, actual “real” proposals have happened. With big diamond engagement rings and all. So fancy! He's gone on to bigger and better things. Traveling the world, performing his beautiful music. Making a 7 figure salary. Touring with amazing performers. As the jobs have gotten better, the rings have gotten even bigger. And I've still said nothing…

I'm not sure what it is. But I don't want him to "settle." Or feel obligated to me. I started thinking about this recently. Because we had a serious conversation. And we also went down “Memory Lane.” Because he was getting ready to sell one of his cars. And we found a small box. With that beautiful ring.

The one that he bought. At that dusty Antique Store. The original ring. That would have made me his Mrs. And he my Mr. We had planned this, to pay for school. But he's not the kind of man, that would just walk away. I've always known that. Had we gotten married, all those years ago, we'd probably have 2.5 kids by now. With some dogs running around. In a beautiful home. My Music Man providing for his family. Allowing me, to live out my dreams. Because, he's that "Old Fashioned Man."

I'm not sure if our path was a good one, or a bad one. Or if we really should have just gotten married. Could you have imagined how we would have told our families...talk about insanity! We may have killed my Dad on the spot! And his family…well I don’t even know what to say. Did I forget to mention, just 6 weeks later, we were in Sin City. Oh ya baby! We almost took the plunge again. This time, I don't really know what prompted it. But we were standing in the “Little White Chapel.” Calling some friends. Apparently, you need a witness or two. :P Instead of saying "I do," we shared a mini wedding cake.

Out of all the men I've ever known, he is probably the only one, that I really saw myself, having a life with. Envisioning our life together. All those conversations we've had. Talks about how many kids, where to live, careers, finances, and religion. All of those things. By the way, we wanted 3, maybe 4 kids. And 2 dogs. :)

But in the end, I'm just not sure. I don't think I could ever really give 100% of myself to anyone. I'm just not that person. And honestly, he needs that kind of a woman. He was meant to be an amazing husband and father. That much I know.

After nearly 10 years, I know that much. That this man, no matter what he says, needs that kind of a woman. That gives 100% of herself. And as much as I want to be a SAHM and wife, I'm just not sure we were meant for one another. But, I thank God every single day for him. He is definitely one of my very best friends. We've had our good times, but we've also had some of the worst times together. And we've made it out of those bad times. Actually, those bad times, made our bond stronger. Much stronger. He knows some of my deepest, darkest secrets. The things I’m most afraid of. And I know all about his dreams for the future.

Who knows. One day, I might just show up, in my hometown. Newly married. I might still become that "barefoot and pregnant woman." His Mrs. and “Baby Mama.” The one that gives up her career, to be the SAHM. You know the one. That makes all the class snacks, goes on every field trip, and has dinner on the table...when her hubby gets home. I guess you just never know what My Music Man and I will do. There have been so many opportunities. You just never know...



And just a little bit of fun. But really I like that song. You know, our life paths are not set in stone. Not yet anyway! I might just pick up and do something silly. Like let myself fall in love. There is still a little bit of hope out there. ♫

I Can Count on Him

It's really funny. The last person I thought I could count on, has really been here for me. If you would have told me this 2 years ago, when we barely muttered hi to one another, I would have laughed! But in the last year, My Music Man, has really stepped up his game.

Let's just talk about the last 48 hours...

Yesterday, I had planned on cleaning my yard. Let's not even talk about the disaster I found, when I got home. You know, last week, we had the graduation party. And I was gone for a few days. I should know better. But when I got home, I found almost all my flowers were dead. The grass was yellow! Triple digit temps are literally killing me.

And for anyone that lives around here, they know that Codes Enforcement is all over these things. So I needed to clean. And I had a crap load to clean! And only days to do it in. Because I'm going back to my hometown, later this week.

My neighbor...well she was on her 3rd day of partying. At 11AM, on a Sunday morning. The street was lined with cars. And I didn't want to "ruffle any feathers." So I put off the cleaning. Because we share a fence. And I really respect her parents. They no longer live there, but they own the house.

So I went in my house. And tried to occupy my time with something else. Until I heard bottles breaking. I found that the party-ers were throwing their beer bottles into my backyard. I didn't go all psycho. I probably should have. But I didn't. I just went back inside. And tried to cool down.

Hard to do, when the outside temps are near 100. You can just imagine what it was like inside my house. With no AC. But I tried. I could feel my blood boiling over. And somehow, he just knew. Before I knew it, My Music Man was at my front door...

He came over to help. He knew I had a lot of work to do. And he is only here, until the middle of the week. So we had sorta planned things out. He'd come over and help for a few hours. Well, nothing was getting done. I was getting madder by the second. And a certain hombrecito, well, he suggested we head over to his house.

You see, last week we made plans. Which included taking Big M out to dinner. That was the plan for Sunday night. So we headed to his house. He put on the NASCAR race, made me lunch, and left me to cool off. I was that mad!

Meanwhile, he left. To go pick up Big M. By the time he got back, he had Mi Princesa, and Little M. Oh, and My Jellybean. :) 4 girls, 3 sisters, 2 Goddaughters. Oh, and Jeff Gordon won the race! Things were looking up.

We went out to dinner. At the Double Eagle. Yum! Everyone thoroughly enjoyed dinner. About 20 people came to our table. To compliment us on our beautiful and well behaved daughters. :) Do I look that nuts? 4 under 5? But we smiled and said Thanks.

And we met my favorite chef...My Music Man's little brother. He works at the restaurant that is 1/2 a block away. He met us at the Candy Store. Where we all had some yummy ice cream. Well, My Jellybean had some leche. :)

The girls ran around. We may or may not have taken a detour. You know, for some new toys. :) There was a little bit of Echo watching. And pleading with a certain uncle for the videos. And eventually, we got them home by 10PM. We're such a bad influence! But their parents' all looked very happy. A few hours without the kiddos...

I got home to find the party in full swing. And my neighbor managed to party until 3AM! I was not a happy camper. At all! Third night in a row! But I had plans on Monday. To CLEAN my yard. I didn't care how it was getting done. Or who was still partying next door. I was going to be cleaning!

At sunrise, My Music Man showed up. And we got to work. Pulling and dragging dead tree limbs. Every single time it is windy, at least 4 big limbs break from my trees. We pulled weeds. Bagged leaves. Where were they from? I have no clue. We picked trash off my fence. Mowed the lawn. Pulled out the grass in the flowerbeds. And did whatever else needed to be done. I had just cleaned my yard. The day before I left for my hometown...

My neighbor, she wasn't happy. At 6:15AM, she was screaming at me. At 6:30AM, she was cussing out My Music Man. By 7AM, I had 3 bags full of broken beer bottles, and 2 of cans. She was also calling her dad.

By 8AM, my old neighbor, was apologizing to me. I wasn't trying to make his daughter look bad. But I wanted him to see what I was dealing with. We had pictures. And bags of trash. She was still screaming. The 2 elderly neighbors, one lives across the street, the other next door, soon joined us. And we all talked.

I think things were sorta figured out. That nut job was still screaming. Her dad was still apologizing. Her little girl was crying, and her ex, well he was just trying to pick up their daughter. And he was thanking me for his daughter's birthday present. The same one, that had been thrown at me, just an hour before. I'm pretty sure, the dresses had gotten dirty. But little A was in heaven with her present.

All this time, My Music Man had my back. He defended me. Kept his cool. And tried to help me keep mine. Which at this point, was tough. After all the excitement died down, we got back to work. And by 1PM, we were ready to die! Red faces, 2 broken shovels, and 20 bags of yard waste, we were done. He went home. I went inside to clean up.

I was gone for days. Yes, days. As in, less than a week! And my yard got that bad. You see, I spend about 2-3 hours working in my yard. Every single day. During the summer. It's that big. And requires that kind of maintenance. Some days, I just wish that it was all dirt...

But my friend, he was there to help. And he even came back...with lunch. This evening, he returned. With Big M, some flower bulbs, and ice cream sundaes. We enjoyed the shady part of the yard. Ate all of our ice cream. Big M helped plant the bulbs. And my psycho neighbor yelled until her roommate came home.

Friends like this, they don't come around often. And I don't just mean the ones that bring you stuff. I mean the ones that are there for you. I can sit here all night, and tell you about the amazing things he does. Like going to Patrick's funeral. Just in case I needed him. Or protecting me from my psycho stalker. Or bringing me chicken noodle soup, when I had the flu.

He's a great guy. An amazing friend. And one of the best people I know. Who else, would spend their days off...helping me with my yard work? Or taking a bunch of kiddos out to dinner. Or putting up with my cranky butt? Not many.

I'm glad that we're friends. I'm glad that we met...almost 10 years ago! And that he talked to me every single day...until I caved. Because My Music Man is much more than a friend. We're starting to feel a heck of a lot like familia. More than family. You know, we were just meant to find each other. ♫

Reflecting

After the busy, nonstop, and exciting week that I had, I want to just stop and relax. To reflect on the good in my life. The positives. All that I've accomplished. All that I've been blessed with.

I often hear things like, you have it so easy. Your parents do it all for you. Blah, blah, blah. But I don't think people realize, just how much I work. How I am the one that foots the bills. I pay for school. I do those things. To save money, I walk to school every single day. Even when we had snow. Or when it's 104 degrees. I do that.

But I'm OK with it. Because I'm an adult. And it's what adults do. They take care of themselves. It's not always easy. Heck, there are days. Very bad days. When I just want to give up. When the hospital stuff is just too much. When I've been pushed to my limits. Held by gunpoint. When I have stacks of homework to do. And I carry the weight of the world on my shoulders. When I'm tired. When I'm barely able to buy a box of macaroni. But I never give up.

God has such grace for us. Kindness, love, and support. He keeps us going, even when we can't keep ourselves going. He sends us special people. Amazing friends. Great mentors. Even perfect strangers. All to show us the way. To help us on our journeys. To love us. To help us. And even to shoulder some of our burdens.

I know this first hand. I've experienced it. I'm not looking to be any one's hero, or angel. But I will help people, as much as I possibly can. Because I know I have a God to depend on. A God that is there for me. Even when I feel so alone. So I'll take care of my friends' kids, on those days when I know they need a break. I'll buy groceries for a hungry mom and her kids. Even if it means I go home with nothing. And it's me, that makes all those things for the kids in PEDS, the PICU, and the NICU. Because it makes me feel better, deep inside, were it matters most.

Maybe it's the fact, that I spent almost a week, with truly kindhearted people. That wanted nothing more, than to share their wealth. And I don't mean money. I mean time, love, and talents. I spent so much time with my favorite itty bitties. Just soaking up, all of their love. Learning so much from these innocent children.

But today, I woke up, with a new attitude. One of purity, honesty, open heartiness, full of love, and wanting to do better. I've struggled with a heavy heart. Especially towards my family, for a while now. Maybe it's the way they put me down, the things they say about me, or just the way I'm treated. But I've carried this heavy heart, for far too long now.

I want to be better. I want to do better. I want to be a better person. I want to be a forgiving person. Not for the other people, but for me. I want to let go. And let things just be. I want to be a happier person.

Over the years, I've learned how to do that with friends. To let them go. Even when I didn't want to. Realizing, the ones that truly care, well, they never really go away. A great example is My Music Man. As much as I have pushed him away, he's fought to be part of my life. He truly wants to be in my life.

And I need to do this. I need to be graceful enough to stop holding the hurt. For those siblings that honestly hurt me, so painfully so, I need to let go of it. It doesn't mean that I have to tolerate their actions. But I also don't have to hold on to all of that hurt and pain.

Most of all, I need to continue to pray for God's love and guidance. To allow him to show me the way. To lead me towards the good in life. To help me make my talents stronger. If it's medicine I'm meant to work in, I know, God will help me find the way. Finances and all. He's always been here.

But as much as I need and want to do all of this, I need to remember me. I need to start putting me and my needs ahead of others. Because I never do. How can I be a better person, if I never work on me? How can I be strong enough to take care of others, if I'm not taking care of me? I need to learn how to be better to myself.

Days like today, remind of how blessed I am. But they also show me how far I still need to go. God's journey for us, well it takes a lifetime. We're never really done. But with each new step, we grow. Stronger, more loving, and into better souls. ♫

Making Magic

Making Magic. It's what Maestro G always tells us to do. When we are performing. Making the audience "feel" the music. Do more than play your instruments, sing the words, and dance. Make people feel the music. Make them cry. Remember. And fall in love.

Tonight, I take the stage with some of the most amazing musicians out there. Full of talent and accomplishment. On such a big anniversary. I'm beyond excited! And to know, these musicians are also some of my very best friends, I know that I'm blessed!

Now that my "Music Man," S and I are on good terms again, it makes many, many people happy. Por que? We trained together. I learned how to sing with him. We became the performers we are today, by working together. Many days and nights...blood, sweat, and tears...and even broken hearts, got us to where we are. And let me tell you, we know how to put on a show!

For days now, we've been rehearsing. Long after the participants and students have gone to bed, we are on the stage. Working with all the "Maestros." The lighting is perfect. There's not one mistake in the music. Everything is good to go. And in the middle of those "Canciones de Amor," my heart dancing. A feeling that I never thought would happen again.



Did you watch that? From 1:44-2:50, el Maestro G tells us, we can recreate that magic. On stage. For everyone to see. Ya, S gets that "sparkle" in his eye. And I roll my eyes! But tonight, we are pulling out all the stops. For one "Grand Performance!"

I've got my "Music Man" back. Two performers that are destined to perform together. Possibly forever. That part of our story...well it's still left to be written. But the music part, we can't deny that. We are a good team...together.

I can't help but have butterflies in mi pansa! I really can't. And to get to share the stage with all of my good amigos again. That alone is the reason I couldn't sleep last night. Add in my cute ahijadas who are dancing, and we are set for one grand Fiesta Mexicana! ♫

He Still Has My Heart

No matter how much I try, he has my heart. My whole heart. Yes, he does. No matter the distance, the time that passes, or the things that happen in our lives. He has my heart in his hands. And honestly, I wouldn't have it any other way. Who knows...one day...he might just be the one. :)

Maybe it's my humbug attitude as of late. Or my unwillingness to go home. The fact that I just don't want to be around other people. Whatever it is, he understands. Even from 1000s of miles away, he gets that. Has just the perfect things to say. Those things that make me feel better about myself.

And it's when I see him, and my heart does that silly little thing, that's when I know. When he tells me I'm beautiful. You know, when I have the flu, a fever, no makeup, my hair is a hot mess, and I've been wearing the same pjs for 2 days. Yes, that's when it counts the most. That and the chicken noodle soup that he's brought over. Because he is convinced that it will make me feel better.

But it goes deeper than that. He's the man I turn to when my world falls apart. The one person who just lets me cry, when I need it. Who comforts me, as I lose yet another important person in my life. My biggest cheerleader, when all I want to do is give up. He is all those things. And so much more.

It's funny how much we've been through. Sharing a stage. Learning from our mistakes. Challenging each other. Celebrating each other's victories. And helping each other to reach our goals. Money, popularity, and all that crap, it's never mattered. What's mattered, is each other.

Sometimes we falter. Sometimes we fall. We've gone months without talking. At some point, I'll admit it, I hated him. But that's in the past. All in the past. Because every time I've needed him, he's been here for me. Whether I've asked him to, or not.

It's nice to know. Especially when I had a crazy person hunting me down. And no one to depend on. I had him. Who else takes off 2 months of work to just make sure I'm OK? Not many people. But that's the difference. This man has respect, love, and knowledge to share. That's what I need. Along with a sense of security. He provides all of that.

Is it funny that we still argue about cakes? Yes. But eventually, I'll bake him a cake. Maybe even for his birthday. Is it strange that I pick up his mail when he's gone...and on tour? Maybe. But I think it's funny, that his neighbors think I live there. That I'm their neighbor too.

Our relationship is complicated. Strange. And, well not common place. But it works for us. The 2 musicians that grew up, more alike than not. The 2 people that probably should just give in to this thing. But you know, we're both pretty hard headed. For now, this works. In a year...maybe it won't.

You just never know where life will take you. Will he be living in FL again? Will I move to NC? Or we just might be a little nuts and say, both careers aren't the right thing for us. I guess only time will tell.

But today, I'm just happy to know he's on my side. He's still the man that calls to chat at 2AM, because he knows I can't sleep. Or the man who shows up at my house, to help out in my latest round of painting. Ya, it's that time of year. My house needs a new coat of paint.

That's the 2 of us. Singing those ubber romantic duets one minute, the next laughing at some ridiculous thing we seen. What really happens under the sombrero? Nothing. The 2 of us trying not to laugh. Ask anyone in the band. The audience can't see. But we all know. It's part of the act. At least 50% of it.

Chemistry? Well you can't deny that. But it's not the beginning and end of us. We're both more complicated. And a whole heck of a lot funnier. What can I say. And to think, after all this time, I've had this hombre right under my nose. And no matter what we try to do, we keep finding our way back to one another... ♫