Friday, May 6, 2011

Peace and Quiet

It's funny. I yearn, honestly yearn, for peace and quiet. It's funny because my life is so chaotic. So full and jam packed. I have little time to myself. Even less time to be in peace and quiet. But I yearn for that time.

I'm one of those people, honest to God, that wouldn't go crazy if I lived in the middle of nowhere. I would actually thrive. If I went days without seeing people, it wouldn't bother me. Not one bit. Why? I have absolutely no clue. But it wouldn't.

That part that makes me laugh is, I'm constantly surrounded by people. Constantly! At work, at school, even at church. And I thoroughly enjoy it. I enjoy helping people. Nursing babies back to health. Talking to their parents. Experiencing new things through music.

But I'm a "loner." To the deepest part of my soul. I like to be alone. I like to sit and reflect. Listen to myself from the inside out. I like to write in my journal, every morning. Without fail. I enjoy long, quiet runs. And digging in my garden at sunrise. It's not out of the ordinary, to find me quietly sitting in my backyard, at midnight.

Or even curled up with my favorite book. The house dead silent. Just me and my latest book. I yearn for that. The time when my soul rejoices! And actually heals itself. The time when I am free to just be me. When I listen to my thoughts. Not the world.

I don't get much of this. If I'm lucky, I still 5 minutes a week. For just me. Without all that outside noise. Even my commutes are jammed with phone calls, studying, or practice. So maybe, that's why I long for these times. When I can shut the world out.

The next month, well it's going to be chaos. Final exams, clinicals, presentations, traveling, work, hospital stuff, taking care of family, time with friends, and lots of celebrations. But I'm promising myself this, in a month, I'm shutting the world out. Even if it's just so I can stare at my flower garden. ♫

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