Thursday, June 2, 2011
Faith in God
I haven't updated you on My Lil' Southern Belle. For quite a while. But in her nearly 8 months, my little angel has been through so much. Do you remember her arrival? Ya, it's been tough.
And My Bestie, H, she's been struggling a lot too. Both of them have endured countless operations. My Bestie is now refusing anymore surgeries, until her little girl is doing better. And that worries me. So much!
The two really bright spots are, her brother is now with her all the time! And there is a particular man, that is just madly in love with H. And so desperately wants to be a Daddy, to this perfect little princess.
But life has not been easy. Unfortunately, I don't get to see them very often. Actually, it's been months since I've seen them. Because H lived in NC. Then a few weeks ago, she and her baby girl, were moved to TN. All for treatment. So, I don't get to see them. Not nearly as much as I'd like.
I do get to talk to H. And her brother. And this truly amazing man that loves her. The funny thing is, were all so deeply connected. My best friend, she married my boss/friend. We were the MOH and BM for the wedding. Then they separated. I became closer to Ol' Blue Eyes. And he hired H. Then we found out about My Lil' Southern Belle. Shortly after, there was this new man. Another good friend of Ol' Blue Eyes...
He and H became so close. He helped her with everything. Putting together her new house, moving, getting ready for the new baby girl. He spoiled them rotten. Bought them everything their hearts could desire. He is madly in love! Then, tragedy struck. We were all in Vegas. Except for H and her baby girl.
Now, Ol' Blue Eyes and I are Godparents, to this little angel. My friend has such an amazing support system. And a man that truly loves her. For her. And loves her baby girl. As if she were his own flesh and blood. H also got her little brother back.
On Tuesday, I got the biggest surprise ever! We were heading home. You know, our gig was over. I needed to get back to my hometown. For my niece's graduation party. And next week, on of my friends/band mates is getting married. So we loaded up some private plans. To head west.
What I failed to notice was, most of the luggage was going into our boss' plane. He told us, that he was going to head west for a few days too. Spend some time with the guys. They're going camping this weekend. And J's 2 planes were being loaded by the band and all our "crew." You know, wives, My Care Bear, Maestro G.
I boarded. Didn't think anything of it. And everyone was set to go home. What I failed to notice was, Ol' Blue Eyes and I, we were the only one in his airplane. Why? Because we were headed to TN, to see our Goddaughter.
By the time I realized, that we were the only 2 people there, the other planes were preparing for their departure. I really had no time to react. And when I found out we were going to TN, I cried. It was a short trip. And I knew it was going to be. But I was just so happy to see H and My Lil' Southern Belle.
No one knew of our plans either. Well, besides M and J. I was filled with excitement the entire flight. Just waiting to see My Bestie. The one woman, that is truly my sister. We've been through so much in our 23 years of friendship. It's unbreakable.
And the minute we walked into that room, my heart was overflowing with love. Pure emotion took over. My Bestie, all bandaged up. The unmistakable look of pain, worry, and anxiety on her face. I just hugged her. Held her as she cried. I was the strong one for her. Everything that she needed me to be. No words were shared. But everything I needed to know, I knew in that very instant.
When I got to hold that precious baby girl, I swear, I felt like God had wrapped his arms around us. She is no more than 9lbs. Not growing. Looking every bit like a newborn. Her head wrapped in bandages, and a small helmet. Tubes, IVs, and monitors surrounding her tiny body.
You'd think, with the work I do, I'd be used to this. But I wasn't. I clearly wasn't. Because this baby, I knew her. Personally. I loved her. I waited anxiously for her arrival. I prayed for her. I held her in my heart. And I was with her in the very beginning. For the first few days of her life. it was me and her. This was clearly different.
We spent a few hours there. I got to speak with her doctors, nurses, dietitians...anyone and everyone that was taking care of her. We talked about new treatments. The plans. The goals. What was next. What I thought might help. We consulted with other physicians. And I came out of it, feeling more at ease.
I wish that I had more days to spend with these 2 amazing people. Which I love so much! I wish that I could sit by that little crib, and sing lullabies, until my Goddaughter was fast asleep. I wish I could be there every single day for H. To help her through this. To make her stronger. And her daughter stronger. I wish I could. But life isn't like that. But for those few precious hours, I got to do just that.
I rocked this precious little girl. We talked. I sung my favorite lullabies. We read books. And I sat and listened to all those perfect baby sounds. I smelled her sweet baby smells. And watched her eat. I took in every second that I could. I needed to. We needed this.
And I did everything I could for H. Helped her shower. Washed her hair. Helped her to get dressed. Combed her hair. Got her good food. Made her bed a little more comfortable. Made sure she had snacks, magazines, and anything else she needed. We talked. We cried. We laughed. We hugged. And she told me that she was scared. So we prayed.
There are very few times in my life, when I've been this scared. But I was as strong as I could be. For this woman, my best friend, and her little girl. We'd walk through fire for each other. And on this day, I would have done anything that she needed. Anything.
And all there is left to do, is have faith in God. He knows best. He knows why we go through, what we go through. And only he knows why. So I told H, we must give him all of our pain, fear, and anxiety. We must trust, that he knows what's best. For all of us.
I do believe this. Deep in my heart and soul. Only God knows. And we must have faith in him. And trust him to do his work. Only he knows if this precious little girl, will ever live outside of a hospital. Or will be a normal little girl. To grow up, to be a normal woman. Only he knows.
But I still pray. And I ask for your prayers. For this little angel on Earth. And her Mommy. At the end of the end, they are really the only people that each of them has. And they need our love and prayers. Pray that God will do the best he can for them. Give them the best lives, that they can have. Please pray. ♫